My Story

Marhaba!

I am surprised at how many views my blog has! To all my new readers, a big HELLO. To all my haters, a big GOD BLESS YOU! And to those who have stumbled upon my blog, WELCOME.

I began this blog to talk about my experience in the Middle East. But since I'm not there anymore, I am keeping this blog and adding to it, with news regarding the persecuted body of Christ. Because they still need their voices to be heard. 

BUT if you're still reading, then here is my story:

In Kuwait I was working as a civilian defense contractor on a military base. I lived in Kuwait City and commuted 2 hours from the Persian Gulf Coast city of Salmiyah, to the border of Kuwait & Iraq to get to work. It was one of the most valuable experiences in my life. Not necessarily working on a military base, but because I got to live among a unique culture. Really it was a mix of culture- Arabs, Indians, Philippinos, etc. I saw how badly most (not all) Arabs treat people from India, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, the Philippines, etc. I saw a unique class system. I witnessed maids being stuffed in the trunk area of an SUV while the rest of the seats were empty. 

The rest of the seats were empty yet look where the maid is sitting. I was shocked!

I saw how much money they made from our purchase of oil and how they would lavishly spend it on expensive sports cars, the latest technology, high fashion, and lots of food.

But I was also able to travel to surrounding countries: Lebanon, Jordan, Bahrain, Israel, Dubai (went twice), Abu Dhabi, even England. I learned a LOT about Islam and the culture differences between East & West. 

Living in that region also exposed me to Christian persecution. It's not that there was a lot of persecution in Kuwait, but daily there were reports in the newspaper & on the news stations about churches being bombed in Egypt & Iraq. Christians being burned alive, butchered, hunted, beheaded, raped, imprisoned, enslaved- in North Africa. Christians being accused of blasphemy against the prophet Mohammed and being thrown in jail pending the death penalty. I was so overwhelmed with the horrible reality of what our brothers and sisters were facing that my faith was shaken. I knew that God warned us about persecution.....but somehow what I was witnessing and what I had been taught in church all the way in the U.S. just was not jiving....in the American churches, the pastor does mention trials & suffering but ultimately, it's such a positive, hopeful message that leads us to believe that everything will be ok, God will protect you especially when you're in His will, nothing can touch you. While some things may be true in its original context, part of God's will IS to suffer, some He wills to be martyred. But I was struggling with what I've been hearing and from what I was seeing. 

What separates me from the Nigerian Christians who weekly attend church services KNOWING their church is most likely going to be bombed b/c every Sunday a different church gets bombed? Nothing makes me different than they except geography. Why would God want to spare my life should something dreadful befall me, if he doesn't even spare poor, starving Africans who worship Him? They get hacked to death with machetes by Islamists. I really began to be very afraid. Even on flights travelling to other countries, I would pray that the Lord keeps the plane safe and then I would begin to freak out b/c I felt like praying was useless- God WILL allow evil to befall me if it is his will. I struggled to pick up my Bible & struggled to pray. On top of that, I started to fear death. I never was really afraid to die b/c I just never thought about it. But living amongst the people in Kuwait- the Middle East, did give me anxiety at night. I was assigned an apartment with a roommate. Every night as I lay in bed I thought, "I wonder if my apartment will be bombed since there are many American contractors in here." Or when I would walk past parked cars to get to my apartment I was always afraid that there may be a car bomb going off. Nothing did happen in Kuwait since they are great at foiling terror plots. One plot was stopped but they got close to one of our bases with explosives. I would read in the local English newspaper of Iranian spy rings, terror rings, etc. And when it was my day off and I went to the mall, as I sat enjoying some food- I too feared an explosion. 

So my trust in God went out the window. How I could feel 'safe' in his arms? What really shook my faith the most was the real story of 2 missionary couples. These couples lived on a boat and traveled to many small parts of the world giving away Bibles to unreached people. Well their boat was hijacked by pirates and they were held hostage. I immediately prayed for their safety and release. I was pleading with God and in a way, telling him, "Lord if you miraculously let them go, I'll be able to trust you again! Lord I need to see a miracle b/c my faith is fading!" I couldn't even sleep,  I kept thinking about the four, their safety, and praying. Surely God would let them go to continue their work in leading people to Christ right? About 3 days later the U.S. intervenes. They take the boat back away from the pirates. But all 4 were dead. http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-202_162-20034691.html

That broke my heart. I literally sobbed like a baby. I was mad at God. Of course I still loved him and I had to remind myself that Jesus warned us, "in this world you WILL have tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world." It was an inner struggle between my logic, between the ugly realities, and my weak faith holding onto the very words about persecution, suffering, and God's will. But I still couldn't read the Bible. I still didn't pray as much. But I still kept paying attention to the news regarding Christian persecution b/c it still kept happening. I was mad at the American Christians. I was disgusted that SO many of our brothers and sisters are suffering in such cruel, inhumane ways and the American church does nothing! They pray and that's it. I found organizations that go to those places and help rebuild villages, provide Bibles, provide training for local pastors, provide for widows of pastors, provide for orphans whose parents have been killed for being Christian. I learned that there is more the American church can do than just pray. They can give. And more than that, I realized that American's didn't know what was going on b/c they weren't exposed to it nor is it ever on the news. So another way to help the persecuted body is to let their voices be heard. So I started posting articles, gruesome pictures, and links on Facebook about Christian persecution. It was the ugly reality that needed to be seen. People were telling me how much negativity I posted on FB- but that was just a LITTLE bit of the reality I was seeing. Then what pissed me off was that some people were complaining to me about the images and negativity that showed up on their feed rather than accepting the truth. Now, at the time I was a bit zealous and mad at Christians and felt unsure about God (though I didn't blame him since we have been warned), so I know I can't push my convictions on others. But we in the West have a lot of unused power to make a difference and yet we don't.  Few, however, do.

Now, I kept seeking miracles through horror stories. I wanted God to restore my hope. One story I read was finally enough to get me back on track with God. This is the story: https://www.facebook.com/notes/jessica-vasquez-cone/captured-woman-freed/10150104412253364

Well anyway, sorry I wrote a book ahaha! But I now have a huge burden for the persecuted body of Christ and that is just one of the reasons why my time in Kuwait has changed my life.

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness"

Lamentations 3:22-23

Modern Story of Job in 2011 in Nigeria

Can one NOT choke up when reading this??? Here is a modern day story of the trials like Job. Except this man is not rich. Well....not by possessions but certainly rich in faith! Even after all but 1 of his kids were killed, even after his wife was killed, even after his village was attacked- he still is faithful to God. Can you imagine? Your wife & children murdered- but not just them- members of your own church were killed too! What do you do?? Do you still hold a Sunday service? What do you say to the survivors? He is holding on to his faith, but what about those who are angry & want revenge? His posture is one of reliance on God. He decides to pray for his 'enemies' rather than chooses to avenge because he knows that it is GOD who vindicates.  Wow......

Let me be honest. Being involved in ministry for many years, you kind of lose touch with reality in a sense. You think that because you are serving God, you're going to be safe- even though you know trials are apart of life, you don't expect injustice.


I was at a women's tea at a church a few years ago & this pastor's wife got up to speak. She does a lot of missionary work in South America because that's where her parents have been for years. But she said something that was so disturbing...

She was describing flying on a plane. Saying that everyone else was scared about the flight but she wasn't. She said that the only reason why the plane was not going down was because SHE was on it & about to do God's work.

I was shocked that an older, experienced, godly woman would say such absurdities. I looked around at my table with my mouth hanging to see if ANYONE got that. I looked at the pastor's wife who was still speaking to see if she was going to correct herself or explain what she had said better- but she didn't.

That is naive thinking. NAIVE. All we have to do is remember Jesus' words: "They hated me first so they will hate you too."

Then we look at the disciples who died a martyrs death. Then look at all the missionaries who have died while doing God's work- even by the very people they were helping to feed, clothe, care for.

When I first arrived to Kuwait I read a book about a young girl's experience during an inner city outreach. She was from the midwest & her parents were hesitant to let her do an internship in an inner city. But she went & was there for a few months. She got accustomed to the environment. One day her & her friend were walking around a rough neighborhood when they were separated. This innocent young girl ended up getting raped by one of the men in the inner city. It was an eye opening experience for her. She didn't believe that God would actually let anything happen to her like this, but it did.

And as I started seeing just how much persecution was going on in this part of the world- I started to question God. I know that suffering is part of God's will. Jesus suffered, so will we. I know that persecution for our faith was inevitable- Jesus said it would happen. But knowing these things conceptually is different from seeing it happen or experiencing it yourself.

All of a sudden I didn't feel safe anymore. I didn't feel like God would protect me from anything. So while over here, I've been struggling with this whole thing. So this story, though tragic, is inspiring:

Islamic extremists target Christian village near Bogoro, Bauchi state.

KURUM, Nigeria, May 10 (CDN) — As she lay on the ground after being shot and then slashed with a machete, Dune James Rike looked into her husband’s tear-filled eyes and asked, “Is this the end between us, so we shall not be together again?”

Pastor James Musa Rike told Compass he held the hands of his dying, 35-year-old wife and told her, “Hold on to your faith in Jesus, and we shall meet and never part again.”

Muslim extremists who attacked Kurum village, in the Bogoro local government area of Nigeria’s Bauchi state, had already killed two of the couple’s children in a rampage that began Wednesday (May 4) at midnight. Rike, pastor of a Church of Christ in Nigeria (COCIN) congregation in Kurum, next heard the cries of his 13-year-old daughter, Sum James Rike, a few yards away.

“I rushed to my daughter, only to discover that she too was cut with a machete on her stomach, and her intestines were all around her,” he said. “I held her hand and began to pray, knowing she too was about to die. She told me that the Muslim militants told her they would kill her and “see how your Jesus will save you.” 

The girl told her father that she responded by telling them that Jesus had already saved her, and that by killing her they would only be making it possible for her to be with Him. Pastor Rike prayed for her as she died.

Shooting and setting homes on fire, the Muslim extremists killed 12 other Christians in the attack. Bauchi police reported 16 people dead – one man, three women and 12 children. 

Pastor Rike said that when the attackers reached his house, they tried to force their way into their bedrooms.

“I opened a backdoor, and we ran out into the dark night while the militants pursued us,” he said. “They shot my wife and two of our kids as they tried to escape.”

Pastor Rike said that after killing the two children, Faith James Rike and 1-year-old Fyali James Rike, the assailants cut his wife’s abdomen with a machete. 

“I was shocked at what I saw,” he said. “I knew my wife would not last long, and the only thing I did was to encourage her to hold on to her faith in Jesus.”

The Muslim extremists set more than 20 houses ablaze before leaving the village, he said.

Pastor Rike and his son survived the attack, and he said his adopted daughter, Whulham James Rike, was injured and receiving treatment at the General Hospital in Bogoro. He said five others others were also receiving hospital treatment.

Among those killed, church sources said, were Murna Ayuba; Angelina Ezekiel; Dorcas Sunday; Asabar Toma; Rhoda Joseph; Dhunhgwa Zakka; Bukata Amos; Ishaku Amos; Kalla Amos; Amos Daniel; Samidah Joel; and Changtan Joel.

The Muslim jihadists also stole money and the other valuables from the Christian village as they withdrew, church sources said. 

The area has a history of sectarian violence, and the attack follows the death of hundreds of people in Bauchi and other northern states last month after Muslims rioted over the April 16 election of a Christian, Goodluck Jonathan, as president. He defeated a Muslim candidate, Muhammadu Buhari. Saying more than 200 church buildings were burned, Christian leaders in northern Nigeria have called for a federal probe into the violence, in which Christians mounted counter attacks.

Northern Nigeria climbed to 23rd place in 2010 from 27th in 2009 on Christian support organization Open Doors’ World Watch List of nations with the worst persecution. 

The church where Pastor Rike ministers has about 30 members and has been in existence for more than 50 years. Those killed were members of the three churches in the village – the COCIN church, St. John’s Catholic Church and an Evangelical Church of West Africa congregation. 

Pastor Rike said the incident has strengthened his faith in Jesus. 

“Whatever is the situation, I will never forsake Christ,” he said. “All human beings are created by God, and our attackers must know that they need to abandon anything that will lead them to destroy creations of God.”

Nigeria’s population of more than 158.2 million is almost evenly divided between Christians, who make up 51.3 percent of the population and live mainly in the south, and Muslims, who account for 45 percent of the population and live mainly in the north. The percentages may be less, however, as those practicing indigenous religions may be as high as 10 percent of the total population, according to Operation World. 

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