My Story

Marhaba!

I am surprised at how many views my blog has! To all my new readers, a big HELLO. To all my haters, a big GOD BLESS YOU! And to those who have stumbled upon my blog, WELCOME.

I began this blog to talk about my experience in the Middle East. But since I'm not there anymore, I am keeping this blog and adding to it, with news regarding the persecuted body of Christ. Because they still need their voices to be heard. 

BUT if you're still reading, then here is my story:

In Kuwait I was working as a civilian defense contractor on a military base. I lived in Kuwait City and commuted 2 hours from the Persian Gulf Coast city of Salmiyah, to the border of Kuwait & Iraq to get to work. It was one of the most valuable experiences in my life. Not necessarily working on a military base, but because I got to live among a unique culture. Really it was a mix of culture- Arabs, Indians, Philippinos, etc. I saw how badly most (not all) Arabs treat people from India, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, the Philippines, etc. I saw a unique class system. I witnessed maids being stuffed in the trunk area of an SUV while the rest of the seats were empty. 

The rest of the seats were empty yet look where the maid is sitting. I was shocked!

I saw how much money they made from our purchase of oil and how they would lavishly spend it on expensive sports cars, the latest technology, high fashion, and lots of food.

But I was also able to travel to surrounding countries: Lebanon, Jordan, Bahrain, Israel, Dubai (went twice), Abu Dhabi, even England. I learned a LOT about Islam and the culture differences between East & West. 

Living in that region also exposed me to Christian persecution. It's not that there was a lot of persecution in Kuwait, but daily there were reports in the newspaper & on the news stations about churches being bombed in Egypt & Iraq. Christians being burned alive, butchered, hunted, beheaded, raped, imprisoned, enslaved- in North Africa. Christians being accused of blasphemy against the prophet Mohammed and being thrown in jail pending the death penalty. I was so overwhelmed with the horrible reality of what our brothers and sisters were facing that my faith was shaken. I knew that God warned us about persecution.....but somehow what I was witnessing and what I had been taught in church all the way in the U.S. just was not jiving....in the American churches, the pastor does mention trials & suffering but ultimately, it's such a positive, hopeful message that leads us to believe that everything will be ok, God will protect you especially when you're in His will, nothing can touch you. While some things may be true in its original context, part of God's will IS to suffer, some He wills to be martyred. But I was struggling with what I've been hearing and from what I was seeing. 

What separates me from the Nigerian Christians who weekly attend church services KNOWING their church is most likely going to be bombed b/c every Sunday a different church gets bombed? Nothing makes me different than they except geography. Why would God want to spare my life should something dreadful befall me, if he doesn't even spare poor, starving Africans who worship Him? They get hacked to death with machetes by Islamists. I really began to be very afraid. Even on flights travelling to other countries, I would pray that the Lord keeps the plane safe and then I would begin to freak out b/c I felt like praying was useless- God WILL allow evil to befall me if it is his will. I struggled to pick up my Bible & struggled to pray. On top of that, I started to fear death. I never was really afraid to die b/c I just never thought about it. But living amongst the people in Kuwait- the Middle East, did give me anxiety at night. I was assigned an apartment with a roommate. Every night as I lay in bed I thought, "I wonder if my apartment will be bombed since there are many American contractors in here." Or when I would walk past parked cars to get to my apartment I was always afraid that there may be a car bomb going off. Nothing did happen in Kuwait since they are great at foiling terror plots. One plot was stopped but they got close to one of our bases with explosives. I would read in the local English newspaper of Iranian spy rings, terror rings, etc. And when it was my day off and I went to the mall, as I sat enjoying some food- I too feared an explosion. 

So my trust in God went out the window. How I could feel 'safe' in his arms? What really shook my faith the most was the real story of 2 missionary couples. These couples lived on a boat and traveled to many small parts of the world giving away Bibles to unreached people. Well their boat was hijacked by pirates and they were held hostage. I immediately prayed for their safety and release. I was pleading with God and in a way, telling him, "Lord if you miraculously let them go, I'll be able to trust you again! Lord I need to see a miracle b/c my faith is fading!" I couldn't even sleep,  I kept thinking about the four, their safety, and praying. Surely God would let them go to continue their work in leading people to Christ right? About 3 days later the U.S. intervenes. They take the boat back away from the pirates. But all 4 were dead. http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-202_162-20034691.html

That broke my heart. I literally sobbed like a baby. I was mad at God. Of course I still loved him and I had to remind myself that Jesus warned us, "in this world you WILL have tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world." It was an inner struggle between my logic, between the ugly realities, and my weak faith holding onto the very words about persecution, suffering, and God's will. But I still couldn't read the Bible. I still didn't pray as much. But I still kept paying attention to the news regarding Christian persecution b/c it still kept happening. I was mad at the American Christians. I was disgusted that SO many of our brothers and sisters are suffering in such cruel, inhumane ways and the American church does nothing! They pray and that's it. I found organizations that go to those places and help rebuild villages, provide Bibles, provide training for local pastors, provide for widows of pastors, provide for orphans whose parents have been killed for being Christian. I learned that there is more the American church can do than just pray. They can give. And more than that, I realized that American's didn't know what was going on b/c they weren't exposed to it nor is it ever on the news. So another way to help the persecuted body is to let their voices be heard. So I started posting articles, gruesome pictures, and links on Facebook about Christian persecution. It was the ugly reality that needed to be seen. People were telling me how much negativity I posted on FB- but that was just a LITTLE bit of the reality I was seeing. Then what pissed me off was that some people were complaining to me about the images and negativity that showed up on their feed rather than accepting the truth. Now, at the time I was a bit zealous and mad at Christians and felt unsure about God (though I didn't blame him since we have been warned), so I know I can't push my convictions on others. But we in the West have a lot of unused power to make a difference and yet we don't.  Few, however, do.

Now, I kept seeking miracles through horror stories. I wanted God to restore my hope. One story I read was finally enough to get me back on track with God. This is the story: https://www.facebook.com/notes/jessica-vasquez-cone/captured-woman-freed/10150104412253364

Well anyway, sorry I wrote a book ahaha! But I now have a huge burden for the persecuted body of Christ and that is just one of the reasons why my time in Kuwait has changed my life.

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness"

Lamentations 3:22-23

Black Americans & Their Influence in the World

The following post is from a dear friend of mine who is African American. Currently he has just moved from Yemen to Ethiopia & has spent this past year living in Turkey & Saudi Arabia. He has been to 20 different countries.  Since I can relate to his passion in his post, I felt like his exhortation NEEDED to be shared. It is truthful & it is BOLD. 

Ethiopia has been amazing so far. American culture is big here too. I went to an international church here to hear them play Kirk Franklin's "Imagine Me" and also to worship with the choir singing Tye Tribett's, "Chasing After You". Even this church did the "Holy Ghost dance". On Ethiopian TV, they play classic American sitcoms, like 'Sanford & Son' and 'The Jefferson's' , I see posters of Beyonce, 50 Cent, Kelly Rowland, Rihanna, Lil' Kim...

But how many black Americans have I met actually making a direct long term impact on Ethiopia -- learning their language(s), culture, helping fight against poverty, education, etc... answer is 0. How many black Americans do I estimate who are doing this kind of work here, probably less than 1% of the foreigners here. How many black American Christians who I have met or know who are serving here in Ethiopia... 0. How many black American Christians would I estimate who are serving directly Ethiopia for a number of years... less than 1%.

Is there is something wrong with black Americans that we think that it is everybody else's job to be a part of the international scene while we sit back complain about foolishness in America? Why do some black Americans call themselves 'African American' when it is apparent that more white people care and serve Africans and other continental groups exponentially more than blacks? It is easy to make music, write a book, give some money, or claim some mystic and foreign African heritage than to actually care and be a part of global solutions especially in Africa. But when Africans look to black Americans for inspiration, all they get is us on poster boards, movies, TV screens and the majority of that is us being absolutely foolish and self-centered. Wake up black America---you have a global responsibility and NO you aren't oppressed and NO you aren't really that poor. 

I know that God is in charge. But as seeing the lack of response from black people even on this post is the reason why I and others need to speak up and highlight the absence of black Americans in anything important internationally (and cross-culturally in America) and how self-centered and insular our outlooks and culture can be. Even amongst black American Christians there is a lack of international consciousness and desire to be a part of solutions and representing Christ to other people cross-culturally. I believe God is sovereign but it doesn't keep me from acting, speaking up, and praying.

[I] just had an interesting conversation with an Ethiopian man and his view and his understanding of Ethiopians' views of black Americans. WOW! I do have a question for black Americans out there: what are some reasons why black Americans are largely absent in the international community? Can you give some insight? Do you think it is ok that black Americans are largely absent? Do you think that black Americans have a responsibility in the world besides music videos, staring in movies, books, limited tourism, US governmental service? I really would like someone to speak on this.

And to clarify, the background is so much more than this thread that I have posted. I have spent years doing what you have said in your previous post and also I have made it an issue of prayer a number of times in my past. I don't mind your rebuke, but if you did understand my heart and walk with the Lord, maybe your insight would be different. Since I grew up in the black church, been to 20 countries, served in many places and areas, also serving in the inner-cities of LA and SD, along with being a member of a black church in LA for the past 3 going on 4 years, I think my words aren't too critical or out of place, especially this being the first time I have publicly spoken up (second time outside of my church 3 years ago) about this issue. I will be praying about it more, but my words are necessary and really conveys the heart of matter.

Then there is my response to his post:

I completely understand how you can be misunderstood. Living abroad- as an expat- really does change you. It changes your perspective. For me, it changed the way I viewed Christianity. I see an American version of Christianity that is VERY superficial when looking at the rest of the world & seeing what Christianity is like. I share the same passion as you Randy- wanting to wake people up. Speaking up- for me though, I feel like challenging christian traditions- traditions that were mad made & church enforced. In fact, I've kind of developed a type of resentment towards the American Christians. I'm not saying that's good- I'm just saying that's what happened. All of a sudden I find myself wanting to challenge what someone says- sometimes in a hostile attitude because they just don't know! I had to refrain myself several times from snapping & checking my attitude. It's not that I feel I'm 'better' or more 'spiritual.' On the contrary- my views on life have changed SO DRASTICALLY that I went from being a political conservative to what you would call a liberal. I haven't been in fellowship in over a year and the only church I can get is if I can make it to a chapel service on the military base while I'm on the clock working.

I just.... I just KNOW how you feel and I can't even finish writing out how much I can relate b/c I feel like I can't put anymore words....I know where you're coming from, I know how you feel, and even though I am not in fellowship & my political views have changed, living abroad- specifically in the Middle East or Muslim countries, changes you because you end up seeing reality. So to me, "just pray about it" sounds like a lame cop out when there is actually something that CAN be done. Not that prayer isn't important, but it's what's more convenient for a Westerner. Meanwhile our brothers & sisters are treated as 3rd class citizens, slaughtered, raped, abducted, & are a minority.

His reply to me:

thank you so much for your words. Living abroad really does change things and I am so glad that we have been abroad roughly for the same amount of time.... we can relate! Yeah, I get outraged at injustice that simply pervades society here in the Middle East/Muslim world. And it is so true about not being in fellowship, largely I had to be my own fellowship really digging into the word, praying, being my own accountability, and pursue God on my own.. Being abroad really forces you in the ME/Muslim world either to really press into God or get lost into something else. The West has done a lot, but there is so much more to be done. For me as a black American Christian abroad over time the issue of the scarcity of black Americans doing anything for people who do/who don't look like them began to develop. I am typically the only one. Saudi Arabia was the only place where I saw a number of black Americans and 99% of them were there for religious reasons and were completely blind to the fact of injustices which were so prevalent in Arab society---especially towards black Africans (and lower class black Arabs) historically and today, South/Southeast Asians and poorer Arabs such as Yemenis.

It is so true when you say, "Meanwhile our brothers & sisters are treated as 3rd class citizens, slaughtered, raped, abducted, & are a minority." I always here black Americans fantasizing about Africa and talking smack about America, but in Africa where Christians live either in secret (Somalia), significant minority (Egypt), or at least 50% of the population (Ethiopia, Nigeria) there is not one black American Christian voice. It is like the struggles of Christians and even oppressed non-Christians are largely absent from a black American, especially a Christian. But let there be a PERCEIVED injustice toward a black American----then we speak up and then we are concerned and then we use our influence to garner world attention, and then the black American Christians develop an opinion and stance against injustice, then we are praying, then we demonstrate both black and white and everything in between.. best point in case: TROY DAVIS from Georgia.

So I am not bitter, but my world view accounts for much more sin, human depravity, and injustice than many people from my ethnic group back home. Black Americans have so much influence in the world, but most of us still walk around as we are oppressed and lack the ability to gain resources. I know that maybe this is the case for some, but I don't believe that it is for all. When black Americans get successful, they go and imitate selfish idiots like rappers or the Jones (a well-to-do American-dream family). Some of us do go back into the inner-cities help, but our responsibility isn't just black people but the world seeing how much status and influence we do have in it. In the words of Jesus, "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." (Luke 12:48). Wake up black America! May the Lord mature us so that we can be able to help to the poor, oppressed, and abused in the entire world and not just inner-city America. Amen.

US Embassy Warns Against Drinking Mineral Water in Kuwait

There's a bit of a trend going on in Kuwait. First, the Ministry has found LOTS of meat & poultry unfit for human consumption that has been used in restaurants & sold- now THIS! Geez....

Warning to American Citizens in Kuwait

Kuwait City, Kuwait
October 4, 2011

Emergency Message for U.S Citizens

Subject:       Possible Rally on Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Please circulate the following message without additions or omissions immediately to all U.S.  citizens within your area of responsibility.

An anti-corruption rally may take place in the early evening hours at Determination Square opposite the National Assembly on Wednesday, October 5 in downtown Kuwait City.  An increased police and security presence is expected in and around the capital.

Spontaneous and planned demonstrations take place in Kuwait from time to time in response to world events or local developments.  At times, even demonstrations intended to be peaceful can turn confrontational and possibly escalate into violence.  Do not let curiosity get the best of you; avoid the areas of demonstrations and exercise caution if within the vicinity of any large gatherings.  Please stay current with media coverage of local events, be aware of your surroundings, and practice personal security awareness at all times.

U.S. citizens traveling and residing abroad should enroll in the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP) at the following website: https://travelregistration.state.gov. U.S. citizens without internet access may enroll directly at the U.S. Embassy or Consulate at their  destination.  By enrolling, U.S. citizens make it easier for the Embassy to contact them in case of emergency.  Updated information on travel and security may be obtained from the Department of State by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll-free in the United States
and Canada or, for callers outside the United States and Canada, a regular toll line at 1-202-501-4444.  For further information, please consult the Worldwide Caution and other consular information, including Country Specific Information, for specific countries.  These products and the latest international travel information for U.S. citizens are available on the Bureau of Consular Affairs Internet website at http://travel.state.gov.

The U.S. Embassy is located at Al-Masjid Al-Aqsa Street, Block 6, Plot 14, Bayan, Kuwait.  If you are a U.S. citizen in need of emergency assistance in Kuwait, you may reach the U.S. Embassy by calling +965-2259-1001 and requesting the duty officer.

U.S. citizens in Kuwait who would like to receive future Warden Messages from the Embassy directly by e-mail may sign up for this service by sending an e-mail to the following address: join-wardenmessagekuwait@mh.databack.com

This message may be accessed on the Embassy website, http://kuwait.usembassy.gov Please note that the Consular Section is closed for U.S. and most local holidays.  The current holiday schedule for 2011 is posted on http://kuwait.usembassy.gov/holidays.html.

Worldwide Travel Alert for US Citizens

Travel Alert
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE
Bureau of Consular Affairs

Worldwide Travel Alert

October 1, 2011

The Department of State alerts U.S. citizens to the potential for retaliation against U.S. citizens and interests following the deaths of key figures in the terrorist group al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula on September 30.  This Travel Alert expires on November 30, 2011.

On 30 September, U.S. and Yemeni government officials confirmed that dual U.S.-Yemeni citizen Anwar al-Awlaki, the external operations leader of al-Qaida in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP), was killed in Yemen.  Open source information also indicates that U.S. citizen and AQAP propagandist Samir Khan was killed along with him. Awlaki played a key role in advancing AQAP plots targeting the United States.
The death of Awlaki, in the near term, could provide motivation for anti-American attacks worldwide from individuals or groups seeking to retaliate against U.S. citizens or interests because of this action.  In the past Awlaki and other members of AQAP have called for attacks against the United States, U.S. citizens and U.S. interests.  Awlaki’s standing as a preeminent English-language advocate of violence could potentially trigger anti-American acts worldwide to avenge his death.

U.S. citizens are encouraged to enroll in the Smart Traveler Enrollment Program (STEP).  U.S. citizens without internet access may enroll directly at the nearest U.S. Embassy or U.S. Consulate.  By enrolling, U.S. citizens make it easier for the embassy/consulates to contact them in case of emergency.

Up-to-date information on security can also be obtained by calling 1-888-407-4747 toll-free in the United States and Canada or, for callers outside the United States and Canada, on a regular toll line at 1-202-501-4444.  These numbers are available from 8:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. Eastern Daylight Time, Monday through Friday (except U.S. federal holidays).

Stay up to date by bookmarking our Bureau of Consular Affairs website, which contains the current Travel Warnings and Travel Alerts as well as the Worldwide Caution. 

Follow us on Twitter and the Bureau of Consular Affairs page on facebook as well.

For information on “What the Department of State Can and Can't Do in a Crisis,” please visit the Bureau of Consular Affairs’ Emergencies and Crisis link at: http://travel.state.gov/travel/tips/emergencies/emergencies_1212.html

When in Rome: You're Subject to Ramadan Laws

So pretty much for ALL foreigners in Kuwait- whether you're a visitor or an expat- Ramadan Laws are required to be met. No eating, drinking, Smoking, or chewing gum in public (including vehicles, shops, or city streets). If you do, you can be fined 100KD ($360) or face jail time for up to a maximum of 3 months! For Americans working on a US Base, they are urged not to eat, drink, smoke, chew gum in front of Muslim co-workers.

What is Ramadan?